Be Authentic

As it happens every year as my birthday nears, I think back on all the things I didn’t do this past year – lose weight, live healthy, keep in touch with friends/family, write a book, quit <insert my oh-so many bad habits>.

But this year is different.  While I still didn’t accomplish any of the perennial goals listed above, I realized that my life has marched to a beat of my own design.  And, maybe, for the first time in a long time I am getting to know the real me, the authentic me.

For the past year, I’ve lived as authentic-ly as I’ve had the courage to live (which is pretty damn authentic if you ask me).

I’ve pissed off my parents (and they’ve pissed me off), and found that our love is truly boundless.

I’ve watched my sister fall in love…


…and find her authentic self in the process (which is a total relief because she could be a real bitch sometimes 😉 wink!).

I’ve nursed my mother through her fight with breast cancer, and held a friend’s hand through a losing battle with AIDS.

I’ve invited anyone and everyone into the not-so-normal world that I’ve crafted with my son…


…and seen parts of him come alive with the diverse cast of characters I call friends.  We’ve had visitors from 13 states and 4 countries crash at our pad.  We’ve travelled together to over 10 cities & 2 countries.  We’ve slept at camp sites, in cars, on floors, on planes, on sofas, and in each other’s arms.

I’ve fallen in love a dozen or so times…


…and fallen out just as many.

I’ve laughed til I cried, and cried til I laughed (at my pathetic self).  I lost the one person whose gaze was like x-ray vision into my soul, and quit others who couldn’t accept me authentic-ly.

By choosing the road-less-travelled a year ago, I found the road back to me.

And by choosing to be just plain ol’ me, I fell in love…with me.

What a great year!  Getting old never felt so good!     -i


~ by EclecticEnigma on August 14, 2009.

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