Classy Break-Up

Shit happens. Sometimes love is for a season and not a reason. Jesus is the ONLY reason for the season, so say a couple of prayers and deal with the hurt by following these tips for a classy break-up…and you’ll always end up on top (figuratively, not literally…wink!)

1. Go ahead and cry.


It is medically proven that tears release anxiety. Let it flow…but don’t make any plans for that day. You WILL look like shit if you do it right.

2. Bite Your Tongue.


How easy is it to diss your Ex by spitin’ their worst traits to friends? Forget about it! Save your dignity (and class) and claim an “amicable ” separation at all costs! It takes TWO to tango. You were in a relationship. It should have been sacred. Keep it that way and bite your tongue.

3. Catch a rebound.


Okay, so I feel a little guilty for saying this in the same blog as I praised The Lord…but…let’s keep it real…if you were sprung out on love, sometimes gettin’ sprung out on “lovin'” will clear your mind like nut-tin else (another wink!).  Sometimes all that’s left after being scraped clean by love is the body. Use it to your advantage. (Damn. I really kinda feel bad for this one.)

4. Get a Life…or a hobby will do. If you’re like me, once you’re in a relationship, that relationship becomes your life. The hardest part about breaking up is adjusting to a new life without that person. Every song on the radio reminds you of a moment with that person. Every movie you watch reminds you of a part of the life you’d created/dreamed with them (that’s now GONE!). Every happy couple reminds you of what you don’t have. And every night, when silence is golden, you dream of them. BUT STOP! Visualize a NEW life, find a NEW hobby, and soon a NEW life will emerge for you. The NEW life of your dreams. I promise. Cross my heart.

5. Pack it up & Move it out.


You leave shit at his place. He leaves shit at your place. Make the exchange (within 2 weeks of the break-up) and neither one of you have to hear from the other again. Isn’t that the purpose of breaking-up? Okay, 4 weeks if it’s long distance…but after that if you ain’t got your shit, you can kiss your shit good-bye. They either threw it away, gave it away, or don’t give a shit if you ever see your shit again.

Happy Breaking to you!     -i


~ by EclecticEnigma on August 7, 2009.

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