Classy Break-Up

Shit happens. Sometimes love is for a season and not a reason. Jesus is the ONLY reason for the season, so say a couple of prayers and deal with the hurt by following these tips for a classy break-up…and you’ll always end up on top (figuratively, not literally…wink!)

1. Go ahead and cry.

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It is medically proven that tears release anxiety. Let it flow…but don’t make any plans for that day. You WILL look like shit if you do it right.

2. Bite Your Tongue.

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How easy is it to diss your Ex by spitin’ their worst traits to friends? Forget about it! Save your dignity (and class) and claim an “amicable ” separation at all costs! It takes TWO to tango. You were in a relationship. It should have been sacred. Keep it that way and bite your tongue.

3. Catch a rebound.

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Okay, so I feel a little guilty for saying this in the same blog as I praised The Lord…but…let’s keep it real…if you were sprung out on love, sometimes gettin’ sprung out on “lovin'” will clear your mind like nut-tin else (another wink!).  Sometimes all that’s left after being scraped clean by love is the body. Use it to your advantage. (Damn. I really kinda feel bad for this one.)

4. Get a Life…or a hobby will do. If you’re like me, once you’re in a relationship, that relationship becomes your life. The hardest part about breaking up is adjusting to a new life without that person. Every song on the radio reminds you of a moment with that person. Every movie you watch reminds you of a part of the life you’d created/dreamed with them (that’s now GONE!). Every happy couple reminds you of what you don’t have. And every night, when silence is golden, you dream of them. BUT STOP! Visualize a NEW life, find a NEW hobby, and soon a NEW life will emerge for you. The NEW life of your dreams. I promise. Cross my heart.

5. Pack it up & Move it out.

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You leave shit at his place. He leaves shit at your place. Make the exchange (within 2 weeks of the break-up) and neither one of you have to hear from the other again. Isn’t that the purpose of breaking-up? Okay, 4 weeks if it’s long distance…but after that if you ain’t got your shit, you can kiss your shit good-bye. They either threw it away, gave it away, or don’t give a shit if you ever see your shit again.

Happy Breaking to you!     -i

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~ by EclecticEnigma on August 7, 2009.

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