“I Don’t Know” vs “No”

At 30 years of age, I’ve been in and out of relationships for the past 15 years or so. Okay, maybe “out” more than “in” but whatever. The point is, I’ve been in them.

Relationships are crazy. Men and Women really are different. I mean, like, totally different! I don’t know how many times I’ve said something meaningless (to me) that caused my relationship to explode like the New York City  Fourth of July Firework spectacle. But enough about me, here’s a conversation my dude told me the other night.


His girlfriend asked him a simple question,

“Do you want to go out tonight? Dinner, drinks, maybe some live music?”

He (mistakenly) believes he answered with an easy response,

“I don’t know.”

“Never mind.”

“What?  Why are you mad?”

“Because every time you say ‘I don’t know’ it really means ‘No’.”

“No. It doesn’t.  It means ‘I Don’t Know’.


* * * * * * * * * *

Now, here’s the same conversation with my personal (and uncertified) insight in italics:


I love my man. I feel like getting cute tonight, maybe grabbing some dinner, hittin’ up a lounge, listening to live music, just chillin’ wit My Man. We haven’t been out in a while. I’m excited!

Sliding close to him on the sofa with a smile

“Do you want to go out tonight?  Dinner, drinks, maybe some live music?”


Come on, Lebron! Man, what are you doin?!? You’re fuckin’ up the series, dude! You can’t let…

Unexpected interruption. Something about dinner. We just ate. How the hell do I know what I want to eat for dinner?

“I Don’t Know.”


He never takes me anywhere! He never wants to do what I want to do!  All he cares about is the game! I bet if one of his boys called him right now and asked him if he wanted to go out he’d say, “Fo sho”. Ugh! Stomping off the sofa.



Cool. Commercial. I gotta piss. Wait! She’s mad! What the hell happened?!?

“What? Why are you mad?”


You just don’t want to go out with me! You don’t love me like you use to! What happened to the romance? You never do the things you use to do!

“Because every time you say ‘I Don’t Know’ it really means ‘No’.”


Damn. Here we go…again…

“No. It doesn’t.  It means ‘I Don’t Know’.”


No it doesn’t because every time you say I Don’t Know you don’t do what I want you to do! But whatever. I’m still gonna get cute and go out with my girls. Hmph.


* * * * * * * * * *

You see, the thing about me is I get excited (read: emotional) pretty easily. Not just in a “I’m-a pop off, son!” sense, but excited, like, about a new book, a weekend trip, bubble gum…and, yes, a night out with My Man. When I hear ‘I Don’t Know’ in response to something that I’m really excited about, something visceral happens. Imagine a little girl with a bright red balloon sucking on a lollipop the size of her face walking through the park, just lickin’ away.


All of a sudden *POP*! Some bad ass kid runs up and jams a stick in that bright red balloon!

I have no idea what my dude’s girl was feeling at the moment that she heard ‘I Don’t Know’ but deflated seems appropriate. I know that’s how I would have felt. And yeh, it’s just dinner. But small things add up, and women are pretty damn good at keepin’ score.     -i


~ by EclecticEnigma on July 13, 2009.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: