Is Your Man Hungry?

I spent the weekend with a gang of married people, and walked away with one question:

Is Your Man Hungry?

South Beach is kinda like Vegas – what happens there, stays there.  Period.  But, as a generalization, I can attest to having seen the SWEETEST booty in boy shorts; the HOTTEST a$$ in a pink bikini; and some FIERCE lookin’ bodies in skin tight dresses.  I only swing one way (towards the salami), but even I couldn’t help my eyes from followin’ these chicks in South Beach!  Bet, it’s just that serious.

So, to all my girls out there with good men, STEP YOUR GAME UP & TURN YOUR SWAG ON!

Keep It Right, Keep It Tight or Miss New Booty WILL come and swing her stuff your man’s way…and if your man’s hungry he WILL take a bite.  We’re all grown here.  We’ve all lived through the Freshman 15,  the Corporate 20.  If you’re like me, you probably have that spot in your closet (covered in cobwebs) of all the clothes you USE to fit – you know, the “I’m ’bout to go on a diet and get back to my old self” space.  Honey, it’s time to make your dreams come true!  I don’t care how much your man loves you, if you’re lookin’ like this…


and she’s lookin’ like this…


…hell, I know which one I’d pick!  If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your man!  Well, if you want to keep him full.

Women like Drama, Men like Sex. This is best explained in a real-life example:

Woman: Hey Babe, how do I look?

Man (as he starts to take her clothes off): Good.

Woman (snuggling closer): Good or Great?

Man (hurriedly trying to unsnap bra): Uh…great???

Woman (pulling away & with attitude): I mean, don’t just say that cuz you think that’s what I want to hear!

Man (adjusting his shorts to accommodate a growing bulge): I’m not.  I love the way you look, babe.

Woman (covering up): No you don’t!  You think I’m fat!

Man (trying to bring her closer): What?  Babe!  I love you!  I love the way you look!

Woman (outraged): But you think I’m fat????

Man (in surrender): Okay, babe, tell me what you want to hear and I’ll say it.

If your man is touching you, undressing you, wanting you…why are you arguing with him?  Which leads me to my next point…

Work on You before you Blame Him. Nobody can be happy in a relationship if they can’t be happy alone.  I promise you that if you know who YOU are, what YOU stand for, what YOU’RE about; you won’t care what someone else thinks of you, even if that somebody IS your man.  Our own insecurities tend to surface most in the presence of those that we feel most comfortable with, those that we love and know that love us.  Don’t blame your man because you’re not happy with you!  Get it right, get it tight…and stop fightin’ your man!

Put His Ass to Bed. We, as women, most times think that our men are satisfied because they “came”.  The Who, How, or What tends to be insignificant because, hell, they came.  But men are much more Machiavellian than us, the MEANS does in fact justify the END.  My “relationship expert” told me that she goes to bed buck ass naked every night because she wants her man to know that “all this right here is his for the taking”.  And in case he forgets to take his fill, she wakes him up in the middle of the night for a little midnight surprise – and let’s just say that she’s not able to talk during this little rendezvous but he’s screaming for the both of them.  Another “relationship expert” pulls out the candy red stripper heels (and nothing else) to remind her man what’s his (but, please, get it right & tight before you try this move…we don’t want to scare our men!)

The point is, what do you send your man to dreamland dreaming about?  A wool nightgown, and a head full of bobby pins wrapped up in an Aunt Jemima handkerchief, or the promise of a sleepless night?  Okay, so, maybe you like it best at night…but does your man like it best in the morning???  If he does, maybe you don’t need to put his ass to bed but send him out the house in the morning with a bang!  I’m just sayin’…

Empty Threats = Empty Home. We’ve all been there.  We’ve all said it.  “It’s over!  I’m never talking to you again!  Don’t call me!”  And we’ve all called back (whimpering) within 24 hours.  Our emotions supersede rationality most times.  And that’s not cool.  If you continuously deliver ultimatums, you’ll continue to get the same results.  Don’t deliver an empty threat to your man unless you are truly ready to have an empty home.  Some things are worth making a stand for, but most often than not we (women) just like to argue.  My “relationship expert”, after being married for about a year, came to this realization after her husband looked at her empty threat and raised the booty: “I don’t know about this” was all he said.  And what do you think my girl did next?

“I’m sorry, baby!  I was just playin’!  I didn’t mean it!”

Avoid the back track and just stop the empty threats.  We all know you don’t mean it anyway.  This way, when you really do get fed up, you can make a threat and know that he’s gonna be scrambling around trying to figure out how to keep YOU!

Friends Before Lovers. At the end of the day, if you don’t like the person you’re in a relationship with, loving them will be impossible.  I have only 2 friends that I would say are “happily married”.  And I asked one of them, “What’s been your BEST relationship day?”  This was her response…

“There were so many good days, but the one that stands out for me is when he left the house to go grocery shopping.  We hadn’t talked about specific dinner plans, but he came back prepared to cook a full dinner for me.  He bought flowers, cut the stems, and placed them on the table in a glass of water for me.  We laughed and talked while he prepared the dinner, and the entire night was just about US.”

How easy is that???  As a woman, I can attest to the simplicity needed to make a girl smile.  So maybe this one was for the fellas.

Stop and Reflect. Nobody’s perfect.  But if you’re in a real relationship where both people are committed to finding a reason to stay together, then both of you need to just STOP and REFLECT.  Take an annual/quarterly/monthly assessment to check-in with your man to see where his head is.  It’s easy.  Just commit to changing 1 thing about you that drives him crazy.  You’re not going to wake up the next day brand new.  It’s going to take practice.  But, hopefully he’ll take the same challenge and you both will be better for it.

Profess Your Love. I don’t care who you are, everyone wants to hear how much their partner loves them.  And it’s always better if that profession is done in front of other people.  I was recently in a relationship where my lover always told me that he loved me, but it was that “gettin’ off the phone” I Love You.  You know, the kind that gets mumbled as you’re pressing END on your cell phone.  Then, a friend of mine told me about an email that he had sent to her professing his love for me and his joy for our relationship and even though I’d heard ‘I Love You’ everyday for the past month, I finally felt the truth behind it.  So if you love your man, tell him, tell your girls, tell the world!  It’ll get back to him and he’ll put it on you like you’ve never had it before!

Last But Not Least, Pray. I don’t care how much you try to do for your man, if your prayer game ain’t up to par, any other gain will be empty.  I’m with Marvin Sapp, “I Never Would Have Made It Without You”.

Get yourself right, work on you before you start some drama with him, make sure you’re his dreamgirl, don’t make threats you’re not willing to live up to, keep the friendship alive, check in with your boo, and make sure the whole world knows how much you love your man.

And every night before you go to sleep, make sure the Lord knows how much you love your man, too.     -i


~ by EclecticEnigma on June 30, 2009.

One Response to “Is Your Man Hungry?”

  1. […] asked in response to ‘Is Your Man Hungry?‘, “Is there really any point in doing all these things, being all these things when […]

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